February 10, 2019

Had a dream last night where I owned a large apartment in the downtown of a not New York City. Started with me taking a taxi home and telling the driver how I saved up, made it happen and was very proud of my accomplishment.

Right before I took the elevator up, I checked my phone and I had hundreds of messages, long ones from people I hadn't spoken to in years. Some were people I missed or regretted losing from my life.

When I got home, the lights were off, it was pitch black, and Alexa couldn't connect to the internet. I turned the flashlight of my phone on, and started to search for the breaker in the darkness.

Out of the corner of my eye, caught briefly by the light, I saw spiders, mice, bugs, and rats. Right before I woke up, a wet dog ran in front of me - seeing it filled me with a profound emptiness.

I woke up and realized I had only been asleep for three hours. It took me another four before I could lay down again.

I don't like when my brain speaks to me in metaphors.